A Paradox of Initiation:

If your life has asked you to protect yourself from the one you once protected, I see you.

This isn’t a story people tell at dinner. It isn’t tidy. It isn’t comfortable. It’s love and fear twisted into one impossible knot. Grief and shock and the fierce, non-negotiable boundaries I had to carve out — this was my reality. Every choice threw me into a place I never thought I’d be.

Sometimes the danger isn’t merely physical . Often, it’s quiet and suffocating — It’s mind games, threats that linger beneath the surface. Apologies that reset the cycle, the emotional tug of war that keeps you off-balance. The kind of erosion that makes you doubt your own reality.

Shame thrives here. Feeds on silence, shadows, and the unspoken fractures of your life. Shame tells you to hide it, to minimize it, to carry it alone. Shame would rather you live as a hollow shell than speak the truth of what you’ve been through and survived.

So let’s say the truth plainly:

• Self-protection is not betrayal.

• Boundaries are not walls built to punish.

• Love does not ask you to disappear, to fracture, or to be destroyed in its name.

This is an initiation you did not ask for. But initiations don’t wait for permission — they strip away illusions and force you to stand in who you are, .

This isn’t a doorway you would have chosen to walk through willingly. But it is the one now that calls you back to yourself. Healing doesn’t mean the past disappears. It means you stop abandoning yourself. It means finding the part of yourself that is anchored, worthy and whole.

And yes — parents make mistakes; we’re human. This space does not excuse harm done by parents. But I’m speaking to those who loved and tried, who showed up again and again, and still found themselves in the impossible position of guarding their own life from the person they once guarded with their whole life.

If this is you, take a breath with me:

You are not weak for what you felt. You are not wrong for what you chose. You are not alone in your experience.

Allow the shame to fall off your shoulders — it’s too heavy to carry. Claim your life and energy back. One step at a time. Stand your ground. Trust yourself to do what’s right for you, even in the face of impossible choices.

Your soul has not forgotten you. It’s still calling you back — to your voice, to your body, to the life and joy that are yours to live. One small act at a time, you rise. Not in spite of what happened, but through it.

🔸Make or order the meal or snack you truly want. Enjoy every bite, fully and without apology. (Make it as fancy as you wish.)

🔸 Find a hilltop, a balcony, a rooftop — take your favourite warm beverage with you anywhere you feel elevated. Sit, breath, and look out. Speak to your future, your Higher Self, God, Angels, or Life itself - whatever feels expansive and free.

🔸Find and watch the movie you loved at 16 or 21. Set out your space— even for two hours. Light your favourite scented candle, dim the lights, prepare popcorn and a drink and put your feet up. Immerse yourself in this moment. Allow yourself this gift.

Your time. Your heart. Your Feelings. Your body. Your soul. They matter .

You don’t have to choose between love for your child and love for your own life. Both can live in you… Both must.

With love, Terri

💌 If this spoke to you, share it with someone who needs to hear it.